WHAT: As defined on StopCyberbullying.org, cyberbullying is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones.

WHY: Ah, an age old question. There’s really no exact answer to this one. It really depends on the individual as to why they might choose to engage in such behaviors. Anger, frustration or even boredom could lead someone to engage in cyberbullying.

Just like bullying was an unfortunate reality to some of us growing up, cyberbullying has become the newest way for kids to torment each other. The worst part of this newest form of bullying is that it allows kids no safe haven. Prior to Internet and cell phone communication, most bullying occurred during school hours. Certainly not enjoyable for those that endured the harassment but at least they could feel protected when in the confines of their own home.

Now some people might be thinking that they’d prefer these cyber attacks to a face-to-face confrontation where violence may ensue. The truth is that all forms of bullying hurt. Even if it were to never become a physical pain, the emotional fallout can be just as harmful.

A recent high-profile example was the case of Megan Meier, a 13-year old girl who committed suicide after being belittled and harassed by the mother of a friend of hers who was posing as a 16 year-old boy on MySpace. The entire story can be read on the Megan Meier Foundation website. It must be pointed out that this wasn’t technically cyberbullying but rather cyber harassment, wherein the victim was being tormented by an adult rather than another peer.

Peer-to-peer cyberbullying is much more common, though thankfully the consequences are rarely so severe. Instilling good morals in our children is the foundation for proper social behavior that will help them in the “real world” and online.

Once parents are cognizant of the cyberbullying danger to their children, the first instinct might be to cut off all access to technology. But really, that would be an overreaction. Remember, your kids will listen to you. (Seriously, even if they pretend not to, they are listening.) So your first step should be to sit down for an open discussion with your children on the subject. Children and teens are especially vulnerable and sensitive to what their peers think about them. Sure, some of them pretend to be immune but no one could possibly be expected to withstand constant belittling or a barrage of insults.

So how can you help them? First remind them of the seven letter word made famous by songstress Aretha Franklin, R-E-S-P-E-C-T! (But try your best not to sing it to them so as to avoid complete embarrassment for them as well as yourself.) Self-respect as well as respect for others will shore up their self-confidence and remind them to be mindful of those around them.

Now, if they find themselves in the unfortunate position of being victimized by their peers, try using WiredSafety.org Executive Director Parry Aftab’s phrase, “Stop, block and tell!” Easy to remember and of course reminiscent of the longstanding fire department directive, “stop, drop and roll”, this will remind your kids to resist the urge to retaliate and instead bring you into the fold before it gets completely out-of-hand. Once you have the information, it’s important to find a careful balance between overreaction and under-reaction.

Overreaction: Pulling the “plug” on all online or wireless communications. (Ok, so that’s an oxymoron.)

Under-reaction: Shrugging it off as “just words” and figuring your child can handle whatever comes their way.

Follow your kids’ online and wireless usage:

 If your child allows, “friend” them on Facebook and other social networks they use.
 Tell your child that you will routinely check the texts they send and receive on their cell phone.
 Put Verizon’s Usage Controls to good use. Specify numbers that will not be able to call or message your child.

If you find something that doesn’t jive with your family’s standards, talk to your kids or even bring in your local authorities when and if you feel it’s appropriate.